哭了

昨晚，我无理取闹地哭了。
早上醒来，觉得自己是个笑话。
为了还没发生或不会发生的事担心是再愚蠢不过的事！
最近的脑袋应该是烧坏了，情绪有好多波动。
幸好有BB的体谅。
虽然他总有一大堆道理（而女人最讨厌听长篇大论），
我还是能感觉到他的关心。
我会努力的。
加油！加油！！加油！！！

Lose to Gain

Dr Teo says, "in a relationship, you always lose something and gain something."
I agree and I will say,
Lose temporary individualism to gain lifetime partnering
Lose the comfort to gain maturity
Lose the freedom to gain responsibility
Lose the familiar to gain transformation
Lose the "I win" to gain the "we win" :)

Alot

I wanna do a lot of things
Go a lot of places
Buy a lot of stuff
Spend a lot of money
Have a lot of laughter
Shed a lot of tears
Meet a lot of faces
Make a lot of noises
Eat a lot of junk
Drink a lot of latte
Dream a lot of dreams
See a lot in reality
Breathe a lot of life
Live a lot of fun
Leave a lot of legacy
That much :)

It's times like this

I have never felt that empty during times like this since I got to know Jesus 12 years ago.
Yes, i was struggling when I was younger and there was such a drawing need to depend on another person- just someone, anyone- to make my life better.
How immature the thought!
I was meditating on that song (I know I sound weird as most meditate on the word, not song!)- This joy/love/peace/hope that I have...the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away, and, I pondered.
Before christ, at least I have all reasons for losing all these but now with God, it's no longer "I".
I wonder if it only happens to me.
That though a christian for long, yet there's a feeling I need to come back to Him.
That I actually don't have that much of Him and I am desperate to be filled again.
Nope, I'm not those that will answer every altar call and repeat the sinner's prayer at every opportunity; I have not backslidden for sure.
Nonetheless, I do let my joy/love/peace/hope slip away at times.
And it's precisely such moments- of weakness and vulnerability, I realise I can't do it on my own.
No matter how seasoned I am or how equipped and trained, I, just can't do it alone.
No I can't.