So...it's true

That one can talk himself/ herself into the happy feeling.
It's not so much of what had happened or what did not happen;
It's how badly you want to be chirpy again.
Still, it's pathetic when you had to excuse yourself to hide behind the four walls,
Just to unlearn the negative and learn the positive.
Rehearsing in front of the mirror to smile,
Finding a good reason to shed a few droplets.
Why didn't anyone say, I had to make such effort?
What's so good about the "I-am-now"?
I'm in pain. This time, I'm really am.