Baggage - dumped & to be dumped

Dumped-
I sang without shaking and without any shivers.
The stage no longer posed a threat to me.
Although it is only to a 90-odd strong, I am glad I discarded me and left that self consciousness.
To be exact, the stage is returned to HIM.
His, rightfully.
To be dumped-
Safe, comfort, riskless, consistence.
That mentality.
Urr. Should I wait till the commitment is over or till the crisis tones down?
Or NOW?
Breathless, not that I can't handle the work.
I don't want my energy to be sucked away cos of the culture.
I believe 500 isn't impossible and Japan is not that far away but, it is just not that worth it to lose myself for recognition and a return ticket.
If I have the money, I might just go for missions for 3 months. Anywhere.
Or, work in church unpaid. I really don't mind.
But again, if.
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And Ter, it is not that I am selfish.