Again

Being a leader myself, it's a joke that even I, struggle with disappointment in leadership.
Irony it may be, that's how true my heart is.
I asked why?
Yet more anger, shame and frustrations arise.
Only then that night, when I wailed like a child.
And A beam of light shone in, I go "Oh, I see."
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Mommy left me.
I'm sorry I made too much noise.
Wanting what I shouldn't want;
Asking what she wouldn't give.
Left alone to cry the loudest and longest I wish.
Finally someone came and said what pleased me.
Pulled to the back alley,I saw not my mommy.
Worried and frightened, my strength left me.
I felt a sharp pain when the chain was pulled from me.
When it was all over, I was left alone- again.
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Negligence, it must be.
Why should I suffer from someone's misdeed?
So when leaders fail to lead, I feared to be put through the same ordeal.
The absence of guidance, of protection, of availability.
I dread, I hate, I detest.
But what the innermost is saying,
"Don't, don't leave me."