yen4more

And We Are Married (post came a bit late)!

2011-09-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

A day's difference

2011-08-30T00:16:00.002+08:00

I was bouncing around on Monday then came the wrong move- to visit the dentist.
Since then, I had been living in agony.
I wouldnt think the fault lies entirely on the dentist but I guess the filling done was too deep and pressed onto my already infected nerves.
A small little tooth when not well treated, can cause so much pain and can affect everyday's life.
It works the same for a small offense, a small disagreement, a small misunderstanding...etc.
No wonder the chinese saying goes "Bin Cong Qian Zhong Yi"
Anyhow, I was really in pain.
So much so I scream and yell cos the pain travelled to my ear and my head which caused more pain!
I must have frightened my mom when she saw me lying on the floor weeping.
During these time, I am very grateful of friends who encouraged me.
I am especially touched when Xuan sent a photo of Michela praying.
Am surrounded by many angels!Of cos, my BB is one of them.
My sis accompanied me to NUH for the dentist to remove the nerves today.
Gosh, it was extreme. I was tearing throughout.
But thank God for the very patient dentist and nurse.
I am so much better now but I still need to visit the dentist in 6 months' time to do the actual root canal and crowning.
At least it takes some pressure off the pockets until wedding is over.
It will cost about $1.4k.
Now, I pray that the tooth will remain good and no further infection or pain will be experienced.
I just want a happy and simple wedding.
And I know my wish will come true. Amen.

Eventful Sunday

2011-08-22T08:34:00.000+08:00

Schedule was totally packed yesterday!
First, we went Habourfront to celebrate Ah Ma's 8X's burfdae.
I never have had any memory of my own grandma so each time I see BB's, I feel pretty excited yet apprehensive on what to say to her.
She is a very happy lady and loves to signal "thumbs up".
I wanna be like her when I grow old. Always so positive :)
We went off after the family photo to Kunyan and Shushan's housewarming.
It was supposed to end at 4pm but we reached at 530pm?
But I am so glad we still made it cos their nest is so so so impressive.
Credits go to Shushan!
I made a casual comment that their place was so nice while ours is so nothing.
I guess BB was a bit hurt.
Not that his ego was bruised.
Truth is, our nest is OUR nest no matter how good or bad it is.
What's important is whois staying in it that makes it special.
So, I am proud to say, our Bishan nest is fantastic becos of ME!!!!!
Muahahahahahaha...
We stayed a short while before heading to PS for movie with the Js.
Thanks to Jimmy for the ride!
The Ape show is great. Totally enjoyed myself.
conclusion, time was well spent yesterday!

14 August, Sunday

2011-08-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

Yippee! Our bed arrived today liao!!
BB wants to start utilizing the bed from tonight but no NO way.
How can he enjoy the whole bed when I paid for half of it?!?!
Haha!
Anyway, did the measurement today for gown alteration.
Aiyo, really quite skinny. Heard about cutting 5 inch at the waist?!
We walked to Bugis after that and I like it.
Been a long time since we "walk" together cos BB is always tired :p
But we did it today! Lovez!!
We tried cheesy chicken at KFC and eee, not as nice leh.
Since we are not satisfied, we bought "I love tai-mei" bubble tea.
Forced BB to pose at the stall which he reluctantly did.
I know I will sound weird but it is such acts(doing wat I say after my whining) that will warm my heart and bring a smile on my face.
Cutesy BB :)
We went hospital to visit Vien's dad and Bernard's mom- both in SGH.
Uncle Yap's ward was so crowded. Good to c him in better spirits.
Also, so sweet to see Bernard kissed auntie's forehead when leaving.
Praying for speedy recovery.
And guess where we headed after the visitation?
Mustafa!!!!
I have never been there so it was an eye opener.
But I think we must be crazy to go on a sunday night.
Many many many people.
BB was busy being my bodyguard and he looked super fierce plus tensed thruout.
Haha, the higher class Mustafa building has higher class shoppers too.
They were avoiding any body contact with me and gave way to me.
Overall experience is nice!
Guess I won't go again (at least during weekend) cos the prices aren't much of a difference.

One More Month... ...

2011-08-07T00:48:00.002+08:00

TO MY BURDAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Haha, guess readers probably thought I was referring to my big dae.
But well, it's the other B-day I am talking about here.
I seriously think I won't have much of a celebration this year since my wedding day will overshadow my birthday.
That is one reason you shouldn't consider placing 2 important events too close to each other.
Learnt a lesson but ha, I wont get a 2nd chance here :p
Dont have a long wish list this round as all I want for birthday is $$$$$$$!
If not for what's boiling on 10th, I will not ask for ANG POWS as bday gifts.
I prefer well-thought and well-shopped pressies BUT gotta be a little more practical this year and set the priorities right.
I welcome money :)
And quality time of fellowship. Just a simple meal at not-a-too-noisy environment.
Just RELAX.

Maybe we have been lying to ourselves

2011-06-04T11:40:00.002+08:00

Becos of the rain, I realised how important the photoshoots are to me.
The disappointment was far too great.
I bought a beach dress and a straw hat just for today.
Not to forget the colour contact lenses.
BB has been wearing spectacles but decided to get contact lenses too.
I havent put on powder on my face for the longest time but did so this morning.
And, went to do my nails yesterday (it went terribly wrong thou!).
All these, just for the "pre-wedding" shoots.
Maybe, we do love to keep the moments in the album.
If we could.

I'm a stubborn wife-to-be!

2011-05-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

Headstrong and overly righteous;
Demanding and prideful;
Wilful and quick tempered.
Time to change!
Hopefully when I officially become Mrs Tay,
I will be mild and mellow;
A dutiful wife.

Heading Nowhere

2011-05-20T00:46:00.000+08:00

At work.
In ministry.
And now, you are making me feel this way too.
If there's a worst, I must be in it.
Hope to get some directions
And make some decisions
Better to hurt now
Then to regret later.
Serious.

BORED?

2011-05-15T01:40:00.006+08:00

BORING- that's what a colleague commented about Steven and I.
Everytime she asks me where I am heading after work, my reply is usually "Dinner at my house" or "Dinner at his house". And that is when we first started out only.
After the phase, the statement changed to " view house. see house. view more houses".
When we finally found a place, Bishan became our fav. hang out.
Sometimes when I read about what other couples are doing, suddenly I feel that something seems to be missing out.
Everything about us is so mediocre.
I don't think our financial status is the issue.
Neither is the absence of a car.
Not that I am unhappy.
But I just hope that our times together can have a bit more excitement;
To do something new together.
And, your energy doesn't run out as fast.

Just making do

2011-05-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

Supposed to go for facial monthly. Stopped going already.
Supposed to buy a pair of bridal heels. Not buying already.
Supposed to make a suit-B's. Doubt he wanna make already.
Supposed to pay a deposit for my photography and make up. I'm broke already before even paying.
Anyway...
A pimple or 2 won't kill. No one studies the bride, I pressume.
The gown's that long. Who cares if the heels' old or new?
A suit is a suit. Looks the same to me and you.
Can I pass you my canon to snap a few? And nude make up is the trend these days!
Let's just make do.
My wedding, My say :)

Now it's the little but the much!

2011-05-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

After the almost done up house, think we are "free-er"?
Wrong, wrong and WRONG!
There's even more to do now.
Just spent $180 at NTUC for the following (thank God for the free $120 vouchers:
- Listerine
- Toothpaste
- BB's fav shower foam
- Mama Lemon
- Magiclean
- Iron
- Ironboard (more ex than the iron!!)
- floor mop
- Softener
- Toilet rolls
- Paper towel
- Big bottles of mineral water
- Facial cleanser
And yup, all the personal items are for Mr Tay since he is shifting in from today
Hope my toilets and kitchen are still as clean the next time I "visit" him.
Keke!

Boo!

2011-04-26T21:21:00.002+08:00

Seen through the hearts of many this season.
I dont know if I should regard it as lucky or unlucky.
But my feelings are such- I am disappointed.
So, nothing's really real.
And I laughed. Sarah's kind.

Dysfunctional Fan + Fabulous Lights

2011-04-08T23:12:00.007+08:00

The fan isn't working at all even at its maximum "3"! :(
BUT, ptl for the pretty lights.
The orange corner lights are so cosy.
Of cos if we wanna get serious, the white side lights are available too.
So overall, I am HAPPY.
Disclaimer: I am emphasizing because that someone is upset when I kept harping on the "can see, cannot use" fan :p
And btw this is the 3D image of my living room(supposingly)...

CONFLICTS

2011-04-03T22:49:00.002+08:00

I hate it.
I think I sound silly saying this since nobody really loves conflicts.
But I really dislike it to the extend that I will keep mum, swallow up all my thoughts and agree to everything to avoid having an argument.
Not because I feel I am "less right", but it is just so pointness.
To explain myself is not difficult; it's the "again and again" that drains up the energy when no one is willing to compromise.
So usually I will be the ONE so as to close the case,end the story.
Don't I feel upset having my ideas and rights neglected?
Yes I do.
But thank God for that gift to forget unhappiness easily.
Don't I feel it's so unfair that I have to be giving in always?
Yes. In fact, all the time.
But somehow I will "psycho" myself into beliving that it's just a small thing.
I'm not too sure how long I can last.
I hope, forever.

Kitchen tiles up!

2011-03-30T23:19:00.002+08:00

Looks like some nice malls' toilet tiles. Keke.

Oh, sidetrack. The light point a bit too low. Don't think we will put up the gallery here le :(

小强？？？

2011-03-28T13:46:00.003+08:00

They tore off the rubbish chute and didnt seal it. Eee, think the roaches will be happy to discover a new playground.

Is this Final?

2011-03-26T02:03:00.009+08:00

Call me flickered minded. I have 101 ideas.

Will these be final?

Feature Wall....Save on wallpaper. Yippee!

I prefer the darker shade for TV Console but what?! SOLD OUT?!?!

Love the leather feel but I am skeptical about using black for the shoe cabinet since our tiles are cream in colour. Anyhow, Option 1 or...

Option 2?

We were firm about using white paint everywhere until we saw this. So spoilt for choices!

We have 2 weeks to decide. Am sure there will be changes :)

Some Updates

2011-03-25T18:05:00.003+08:00

Working Hard...

L Box Drawings on the wall...

Cornist finally gone. Had been a sore in the eye. Keke.

We have a tiny problem here...

The contractor didnt manage to find identical floor tiles for those that were hacked off.
Now we are left with 3 options:
A. Settle with tiles that are most similar. I responded with an "Eeeeeeeeee".
B. Overlay the floor with other tiles. That sounds costly.
C. Hack away all other tiles and cement it instead. Err, potential cracks on the floor?!
So how...

War Zone

2011-03-24T13:20:00.002+08:00

No, I didnt get into trouble with "Ah Long Pte Ltd"...

Keke, what a big pile of xxx?

We are happy house owners!

The "BEFORE"

2011-03-23T13:08:00.009+08:00

MASTER BEDROOM

The wardrobe will be replaced...

COMMON BEDROOM

This will be replaced as well...

GALLERY

This will be hacked off...

KITCHEN

Gonna have a L-shape kind of structure...

LIVING ROOM

This side of the wall will be up with a feature wall and TV console which costs a fair bit...

Supposed to have a reading corner here...

Looking forward to the transformation minus any shocks.

THE gown

2011-03-20T23:00:00.003+08:00

On the model...

A bit different when on me kekeke...

The original...

Thoughts

2011-03-03T00:29:00.003+08:00

Giving to Parents should be as natural as tithing.
It seems harder now with the bills stacking up.
But still, shouldnt struggle.
Ya, shouldnt.

小女人

2011-02-20T13:19:00.003+08:00

撒娇是为了被疼爱
你却把我当无理取闹来对待
哎，做小女人真难

So in love with this

2011-02-16T13:45:00.001+08:00

Pearls and Lilies - My theme

2011-02-16T13:39:00.000+08:00

Our Bands?

2011-02-10T13:11:00.002+08:00

Too good to be true!

2011-02-09T13:15:00.003+08:00

* House- Sponsored
* Honeymoon- Sponsored
* Wedding Package- Sponsored
* Facial- Sponsored
* Bridal Accessories- Sponsored
* Wedding Car- Sponsored
* Hotel Stay- Sponsored
* Renovation- Sponsored
* Mani & Pedi- Sponsored
* Wedding Cards Design & Print- Sponsored
* Designer Furniture- Sponsored

Too good to be true! That's why they aren't true yet. Haha.

CNY Day 1

2011-02-03T19:49:00.000+08:00

Music can really do wonders.
A way to heal, to set free.
Hope she doesn't have to give up.
Despite the odds.
Saying a prayer for the golden couple.

Dont feel like...

2011-02-02T23:29:00.001+08:00

-Going Taiwan
-Taking bridal package
-Counting the sums
-Repairing Asus
-Thinking,planning and talking
-Doing anything
-Spending money on facial and antibiotics
-Waiting endlessly
-Wetting the pillows

Last eve at home.
At least, not alone.

Empty in the pockets

2011-01-30T14:49:00.006+08:00

But full in the heart.
May 2011 marks a year where abundance is felt in both.
Amen

The Team

2011-01-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

It just looks and feels different now that they are gone.
But a team is a team, they will come home soon.

How can they say goodbye?

2011-01-19T23:41:00.004+08:00

To a place they used to call home;
Where tears and joy are sown.
To those they fought countless battles with;
And who they fought it for.
To a stage they spent nights praying,
While others are out roving and playing.
These are memories so precious,
That I wish I will never lose hold of.
To guard and to cherish, Lord, help me not to wander off.
Amen.

maybe; maybe not

2011-01-07T14:07:00.001+08:00

Ya.

Contentment

2010-12-13T12:59:00.004+08:00

Satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
I must learn.
Even the ordinary has its beauty and behind a play, a greater effort.
We may not have the bucks, but Lord help us, not to live unsung.
We can have our own happenings- a different measure- but just as fun.
That when I close my eyes and think one last time, I know I have had a life worth twice as much.

FOT

2010-11-08T02:39:00.001+08:00

Full of thoughts.
I need to get to bed. Now.

Overwhelmed

2010-10-27T21:22:00.002+08:00

By too many things.
Too many bills, too many exceptions, too many loans, too many choices, too many delays, too many not-coming-in, too many shortfalls, too many problems, too many too many.

Oops I did it again...

2010-09-26T20:38:00.002+08:00

Guess what?
I was really bored by the 5th day of my mc so I took out the scissor and chopped off a bit of my fringe.
But BB really doesn't like me in short fringe- he told me before.
Yet I still "gu yi" experiment and test his response.
Proven. He meant it when he said he doesn't like it.
No matter what others say, he just doesn't like it.
I thought I look fresh and more chubby *scratch head*
Anyway, I forced him to take a shot in the train today.
His expression tells it all :p

OMG!!!

2010-09-24T17:24:00.002+08:00

There's so much to do.
Okay, I'm over-reacting. It's only alot :p
THINGS-TO-DO (Compressed List):
#1 Find a nest!
- & PTL, our long awaited HLE has finally been approved.
#2 Decide on wedding venue
- JW with heavily subsidized buffet reception from Paradise?
#3 And which Bridal Package.
- I spotted a few from JB City Sq. Printemps & Dawn's look chic + cheap.
#4 IPL underarms hair removal
- UOB promo at Strip very attractive.
I realised the list will probably goes on endlessly so I decided, let's stop here.
Bleh!

A White List

2010-09-23T17:09:00.003+08:00

Guess which is my top pick!

Counting my Blessings

2010-09-13T20:34:00.006+08:00

Birthday Wishlist 2010

2010-08-30T00:03:00.000+08:00

I know you are gonna kill me but...
I don't have any list!!! Muahahahaha...
But if you insist, just get me a LV neverfull medium.
*Grin grin*

哭了

2010-07-26T00:14:00.002+08:00

昨晚，我无理取闹地哭了。
早上醒来，觉得自己是个笑话。
为了还没发生或不会发生的事担心是再愚蠢不过的事！
最近的脑袋应该是烧坏了，情绪有好多波动。
幸好有BB的体谅。
虽然他总有一大堆道理（而女人最讨厌听长篇大论），
我还是能感觉到他的关心。
我会努力的。
加油！加油！！加油！！！

Lose to Gain

2010-07-11T23:26:00.003+08:00

Dr Teo says, "in a relationship, you always lose something and gain something."
I agree and I will say,
Lose temporary individualism to gain lifetime partnering
Lose the comfort to gain maturity
Lose the freedom to gain responsibility
Lose the familiar to gain transformation
Lose the "I win" to gain the "we win" :)

Alot

2010-07-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

I wanna do a lot of things
Go a lot of places
Buy a lot of stuff
Spend a lot of money
Have a lot of laughter
Shed a lot of tears
Meet a lot of faces
Make a lot of noises
Eat a lot of junk
Drink a lot of latte
Dream a lot of dreams
See a lot in reality
Breathe a lot of life
Live a lot of fun
Leave a lot of legacy
That much :)

It's times like this

2010-07-02T18:19:00.003+08:00

I have never felt that empty during times like this since I got to know Jesus 12 years ago.
Yes, i was struggling when I was younger and there was such a drawing need to depend on another person- just someone, anyone- to make my life better.
How immature the thought!
I was meditating on that song (I know I sound weird as most meditate on the word, not song!)- This joy/love/peace/hope that I have...the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away, and, I pondered.
Before christ, at least I have all reasons for losing all these but now with God, it's no longer "I".
I wonder if it only happens to me.
That though a christian for long, yet there's a feeling I need to come back to Him.
That I actually don't have that much of Him and I am desperate to be filled again.
Nope, I'm not those that will answer every altar call and repeat the sinner's prayer at every opportunity; I have not backslidden for sure.
Nonetheless, I do let my joy/love/peace/hope slip away at times.
And it's precisely such moments- of weakness and vulnerability, I realise I can't do it on my own.
No matter how seasoned I am or how equipped and trained, I, just can't do it alone.
No I can't.

Sweetest Devotion

2010-06-09T12:46:00.003+08:00

"The one thing that I need, be seated at Your feet"
This part of the song kept ringing in my head.
We had never wanted to build the biggest or the largest;
The riches or the most influential.
We just want to contain all sorts, all cultures, all statutes of people to worship.
If all fails, we will still be glad to have a place at His feet.

I'm still happy to be in this church

2010-06-02T13:36:00.002+08:00

I call it my home- CHC.
The friendships built;
The ability to forgive and forget;
The confidence to conquer new grounds;
The strength to learn from failures;
The courage to move on from my past and the many many more.
It has never been the "popularity" that draws me and keeps me here;
It will never be the accusations and deflamations that pulls me away.
Be it a hundred or a million[if only!], who's the one giving?
I'm not sreaming and yelling, cursing or swearing
I'm just amused by the "concern" of the unconcerned parties.
What a show!
Na, I'm still happy to say "I'm going home this week. You wanna join me? :)"

The many "unexpected"s

2010-05-25T19:12:00.004+08:00

"Due to unforeseen circumstances..."
"Just when I was about to..."
"I actually wanted..."
"The original plan was..."
How familiar are the above in life?!?!
And very often, the unscrupulous salesperson-me, has used them with no restriction. I mean, I really have no control over the what-so-ever....sometimes!
How unexpected are the "unexpected"s?
Honestly speaking, if I were to do a self-reflection, those can be anticipated and avoided.
I hate to admit but, most of the unexpected happens when we take things for granted.
Health problem, Marriage crisis, Financial tsunami...We tend to blame it on the weather, a 3rd party, the economy or even...God!
Very convenient but we will never learn; we will not get better.
So, your pick! Get better by learning or get bitter by blaming.
Having said, err, there are really things beyond us lah *wink*

Touched

2010-05-19T10:18:00.000+08:00

- When he appeared at my place after I returned from JB
- Bought dinner for me when I was feeling unwell
- Spent so much to make me happy
- Warmed my hands whenever I am freezing
- Assured me when I don't think well of myself
- Think of me even when he is so busy
- Gave in to me at times I am over demanding
- Serve me during his off days

Look at the number of "me"s!
Time to switch from recipient mode to giver mode :)

So...it's true

2010-05-09T21:54:00.002+08:00

That one can talk himself/ herself into the happy feeling.
It's not so much of what had happened or what did not happen;
It's how badly you want to be chirpy again.
Still, it's pathetic when you had to excuse yourself to hide behind the four walls,
Just to unlearn the negative and learn the positive.
Rehearsing in front of the mirror to smile,
Finding a good reason to shed a few droplets.
Why didn't anyone say, I had to make such effort?
What's so good about the "I-am-now"?
I'm in pain. This time, I'm really am.

Happy Mom's Day

2010-05-09T02:23:00.002+08:00

:)

2010-05-08T01:28:00.001+08:00

Simple Things In Life

2010-05-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

I love walking the distance with the one I love;
He has gone the miles for me.
We have so much more ahead;
We are not even half way there yet.
Thou I yearn for better and greater,
I am grateful to what was given.
The simple and the "oh-so-usual",
Brings a wide smile on my face.
If I have to ask for something else,
It is to have 48 hours-
To have more time with you each day :)

3RD MAY

2010-05-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

I came home with a mindful of thoughts; I shall not go into details.
But I will work it out; It will work out
:)

Confession Makes it TRUE

2010-04-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car
A new place
A new car

I wish...

2010-04-07T21:01:00.002+08:00

For alot and I trust God will answer.
But I am contented, if not.

How Eventful!?!?

2010-04-05T12:18:00.003+08:00

Every year, Easter period spells B-U-S-Y & F-R-U-I-T-F-U-L for the whole church.
Busy, because of the many outreaches and retention program; Fruitful, because of the results and the many souls saved.
2010 was no different except weighing a little heavier on the former.
The uninvited attention from the public and media has caused quite a storm.
I salute my Pastor for doing such a good job in the 7 services albeit the effort diverted to verify and clarity with the outsiders.
It hurts to see him cautious now, even towards us.
Not that he has lost his trust in man but after misinterpreted by some, nobody would want to risk the chances for more discords.
Being family, I see no need to deprive him an extra hour of rest on Sunday- he works harder for the church than all of us added together.
Yet he has to clear the air over one statement made. It pains me.
It doesn't bother me whether the NDA exists or not. It doesn't.
For those who does, how much of $310m are you contributing? Say.

30 MARCH 2010

2010-03-31T00:43:00.010+08:00

My House

ECP

MUTHU'S CURRY

BARRACKS CAFE

BOTANIC GARDEN

HIS CAR

Happy Bday BB :)

52kg...WHAT?!

2010-03-23T00:19:00.000+08:00

Goodness,I put on so much.
I want to crrrrrrrrrrry!

Bloated, but eating still

2010-03-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

Retail Warfare

2010-03-21T17:43:00.003+08:00

Spotted and tried on 2 tops from River Island but,I didn't do the usual.
I think they look nice on me but na.
Since I am not increasing my income, I better cut down on my expenses.
Proud of myself.

The "WRONGEST" attire to ECP

2010-03-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

See... so wrong.

But no, I am not complaining

We are both happy :)

Happy Moments

2010-03-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Random

2010-03-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

I kind of miss breakfast time with bb.More than dinner time or supper.
I think it is a lovely feeling to start the day seeing someone you treasure, talking to someone who cares and eating with someone you enjoy.
Nights are good but we both will be more or less drained out by then and are switched on to receiver mode.
When that happens, giving and serving becomes a dread.
Anyway, I have exhausted the complain quota for the week so it is time to cheer and shout and make things better!
Btw, B loaned me a book and as I browsed through, I realised I have done so wrong!
Men do have a brain that function so different from us.
But B has been patient with my unreasonable demands and wilful side.
I am glad he is.
Was talking to Mandai on our bus ride back and I am suprised she knows me so well-better than I do!
Of cos, her memory and impression of me was based on 10 years ago.
Friends are friends. I find it easy to confide in her although we lost touch for that long. One thing I am grateful to my Company is, I found her there! Or, she found me there rather!!
Bb has been mentioning that I am one who thinks ALOT but I retorted that he is the one who thinks ALOT for thinking I think ALOT.
Until Mandai casually remarked that I have not changed for that 10 years cos I still think ALOT.Haha.
Sorry B! Should have trusted your word.
Random random random entry :)

Spot the difference :)

2010-03-08T00:49:00.001+08:00

I need to be more understanding

2010-03-04T23:34:00.001+08:00

I think I really need to.

Sunday @ Changi Beach

2010-03-01T01:42:00.003+08:00

I love praying for people I love.
But I love praying with the person I love, even more.

The Ten Trials (PK's daily devotion)

2010-02-25T00:41:00.001+08:00

19 Feb 2010
Remember! Do not forget how you provoked the LORD your God to wrath in the wilderness. From the day that you departed from the land of Egypt until you came to this place, you have been rebellious against the LORD. Deuteronomy 9:7

There were 10 trials in the wilderness, and the Israelites failed them all. After they failed the 10th test at Kadesh Barnea, the Lord said, “They have put Me to the test now these ten times, and have not heeded My voice” (Num. 14:22). Here are the 10 tests:

(1) Murmuring against God. The Israelites accused God of deceiving them into a trap so that the Egyptians could kill them. There is always a tendency to blame God in the midst of crises.

(2) Bitter water at Marah. The Israelites murmured at the bitter water. Every believer will be tried by bitter experiences and disappointments.

(3) Hunger. This represents economic times of testing. We will all experience times of shortages and lack during which our faith in God will be tested. Our faith in God will then be tested.

(4) Gluttony. By taking more manna than they needed for the day, the Israelites willfully disobeyed the Lord.

(5) Thirst at Rephidim. Thirst speaks of dry and boring experiences. The Israelites murmured again.

(6) Idolatry of the gold calf. Inordinate desires and lusts must be conquered. Anything that replaces our reliance upon God is idolatry.

(7) Complaining about misfortunes at Taberah. Complaining about adverse circumstances doesn’t help us to find favor with God.

(8) Unthankfulness. The appetites of the Israelites were not consecrated to God. They detested God’s provision of manna and gorged themselves with quail.

(9) Criticism of leadership. Aaron and Miriam criticized Moses, the man who saw the face of God.

(10) Unbelief at Kadesh Barnea. The Israelites were right at the border of the Promised Land. The 10 spies all agreed that it was a good land, but that the enemies were too great. They infected the whole congregation with fear and unbelief. They had failed the 10th and most important test.

Finally, God said, “You will not enter in.”

No teacher ever creates a test for the purpose of trying to fail the student. Every test should be a stepping stone for greater glory. Instead, Israel made each Aof their tests a stumbling block into defeat. The Holy Spirit was always around to show God strong on their behalf whenever they were met by diffi culties. But they didn’t lean on Him. Let’s remember the Scriptural exhortation: “Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion” (Heb. 3:15).

How did it happen?

2010-02-22T23:17:00.004+08:00

Not overnight for sure! And, nothing to do with love at first sight.
We were really JUST friends for months.
But I guess, it all started with friendship.
The proximity of our place did create extra time for fellowship.
Now I believe how the chinese saying "近水楼台先得月”comes about.
I really thank God for being in the whole process.
It might sound ridiculous to involve so many people in the "move" but it was absolutely necessary.
When I realised we were getting too close ie. chatting and exchanging bb messages almost everyday, I panic a little.
Familarity breeds contempt. I recognized the need to draw a line especially when I actually "look forward" to the beeping sound from my bb.
I know I am not heading right if I allow things to continue.
Spoke to Pastor and asked to do some changes. Permisson granted.
Anyway, there was quite a bit of wrestling between the mind and the heart.
We stopped all modes of communication for a couple of days as I wanted to talk to Pastor again about the hows and the whats. And I wanted Pastor to call him.
Afterall, nobody should be misleading anyone.
Then, Mr Tay blurted out.
I think I was a little excited but yet, apprehensive.
How would God view this relationship? Would it be a go-ahead or a thumbs-down?
It was a tinge of every emotion!
Since Pastor was supposed to talk to him the next day, we both waited.
And the wait prolonged.
I was not too confident of how things will work out given how different we both are.
Our backgrounds, experiences, length of time in church...etc contribute to my hesitation.
It was good that Pastor was in the loop since Day 1 because woman being woman, my judgment can no longer be trusted in totality.
I need Pastor's advice! We need Pastor's advice.
I was quite surprised how well they thought of him thou. Haha.
He went through a round of phone interview and he survived.
I thought, my, this man would probably take a step or two back. He didn't :)
But it got him thinking. Not just of the present.
We maintained a comfortable distance as friends until he was "invited" to the leaders' New Year Eve countdown.
That was when the progress accelerated.
Then, he assured me he was ready and I feel, we are good to go as long as Pastor is agreeable.
We said, Pastor's decision is our decision.
When he received Pastor's reply, he must be grinning from ear to ear *wink*
And so... it happened!
It is really so important to receive blessings from the leaders.
Honestly, I was busy preparing myself how and what to do should Pastor say no- be calm, be cool, be obedient...etc.
So when it was otherwise, I was in a state of shock or rather pleasant surprise.
There's alot we need to do and need to learn.
Whatever it is, we want to keep God in the centre this relationship and in centre of our lives. Amen and amen.

My Favourite Man

2010-02-18T23:11:00.003+08:00

Other than Pastor Kong, Pastor Ken, Xiaolong, MK, Wilson, Uncle Henry ....Kidding :p

Cold Turkey Treatment

2010-02-15T13:13:00.002+08:00

Seeing his droopy eyes and excessive yawns, pains my heart ALOT.
Not because of the brutality of the treatment but the brutality of human.
He still has to struggle with gaining acceptance after so much effort put in.
But yes, it is necessary if we are looking further.
And I thank all for making us think.

A bliss to be blessed

2010-02-14T11:39:00.002+08:00

Thank God for my leaders' support.
They taught me that you dont have to be perfect to love and be loved.
They walked the walk that no one is destined to fail even after one or many failures.
They showed me that hard does not mean impossible.
And if things didn't work out, I know who I can run to without having to face "See, I told you so".
And these are the ones, I will pour my heart to.
They hear my cries before stuffing their reasonings down the throat.
And if they say "no", I should be willing to hold though it might hurt me so.

SUNK

2010-02-11T20:36:00.002+08:00

My heart. Because you are someone important to me.
Yet it is obvious, we are not running in the same direction.
And that hurts.
Sometimes I wonder when you will learn;
Somedays I wish I never know.
When you left Him out, what will we become?
Enough betrayals.

LOVE

2010-02-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

I must have left it behind in 2009.
If not, why am I so judgemental?
Or has my "grace quota" been exhausted?
Need to find my way back into LOVE. God's kind. Agape.
-----------------------------------------------
Yes yes, BREATHE :)

How different?

2010-02-09T02:24:00.001+08:00

No difference.

Waiting

2010-02-08T00:25:00.002+08:00

Been doing a bit of waiting these 2 days.
Then a thought dawn on me before I left house today, that I am no longer the suave Yen who can do things at her own pace, as and when she likes.
I kind of miss that life.

This Afternoon

2010-02-07T01:49:00.002+08:00

Had a "conversation" with my sister.
Felt that things are not going to be easy.
The road ahead seems difficult and complicated.
So heavy.

In his & his & His eyes

2010-02-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

In his eyes, I am someone who goes all out for Jesus and I expect my loved ones to do the same.
True but that caused me to ponder, am I imposing my standard, pressuring others to perform up to human's expectations?
Is either on par or better. Can't be any lesser.
Is that good or bad?
In his eyes, I am someone he loves and cares. I feel pampered.
What a luxury to be able to dress down from an "iron lady" to an "ordinary woman", for just a journey long.
To me, that's good enough.
In His eyes, I can rest in His presence and show my true self without reservation.
I can cry and howl; I can laugh and smile
I am free to express myself, knowing He will be there anyhow.
I want to be in His house:)

Wednesday

2010-02-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

Surrounded by happy people today.
Felt chirpy too :)
Tonight might be a drinking session.
After all, I haven't been out with the girls for years.
It is funny how God brings people together.
We lost touch since... JC?
Those were the days.
Cheers!

Tuesday Night

2010-02-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

Quite funny.
Someone who sat behind me on the bus started talking to me about how beautiful the sky is.
Yea, I agree. It's a nice day :)
My feet nearly tore apart after much walking.
Didn't spot anything I like at SKIN.
Aiya, I really need a pair of fitting jeans after losing some kilos.
Great appetite during dinner since my lunchtime was spent on the paperwork.
PK is coming back tonight. I wonder how things will be tomorrow.
Trust that it will all be good.
Good night :)

Tuesday

2010-02-02T13:46:00.001+08:00

Woke up really late today.
Kena "suan" by Jon.
Still, I get to eat St Leaven yummy bread! Happy.
Didn't notice that the playground is finally ready...
The colours really cheered me up.
Had an interesting encounter at the lift.
Why would someone be attracted to a lady pushing a trolley and looking super unglam?
He got down my email.
Just received something from him and he is asking for my contact and for a cup of coffee.
Goodness.
Thank God I am leaving for a meeting soon and can excuse myself from the nonsense.
The rest of the day will be better!

Monday Night

2010-02-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

Yes yes, I was supposed to be home at 7pm but thanks to Jon and Ernie, I was out till now.
They were nice enough to hang out at HV thou.
Had yummy raman at some Jap restaurant and mud pie at Coffee Club.
My throat was screaming out so I stopped after 2 spoonfuls of the dessert.
Food aside, it was fun talking and chatting.
From nonsense, to spiritual, to serious and back to crazy giggles.
Received 2 emails at almost the same time.
One is from PK and the other, a friend.
By the way, I cut off 3 credit cards.
Declaring a war with impulse buying. I felt really relieved.
One more thing to cut. I'm sure things will get even better there after :)

Monday

2010-02-01T16:20:00.000+08:00

A bit slow as expected but I did wake up earlier than usual.
If Vic sees me, he will probably shake his head and say "all black again?"
Didn't have much mood and told Mel not to come over.
I am doing him a favor so he can do basketball with Pastor mah.
My poor advisor haha.
Waiting for time to quickly pass so I can go back home to rest.
Feeling terrible with ulcers in the mouth.
PK went China last night so tomorrow's meeting is cancelled.
Emailed him and Vivien the necessary instead.
Vien replied. She is so so sweet and kind.
PK is one fortunate man indeed!

Today

2010-01-31T23:45:00.002+08:00

Woke up pretty late today but managed to scrub the kitchen floor as promised.
Didn't have much strength thou.
Have been skipping many meals due to the lack of appetite.
Managed to clear half the packed food before going out to get v-day gifts for my office's girls.
Wanted to get VIVI March but is not available at Kino yet.
Finally get to sit at Starbucks with my fav Mocha Frapp.
Busy bb messenging 3 groups of people and forgotten how to enjoy the frapp.
Hmm, how does it taste like?
No matter what, me being me, will still put on a smile.
The more down I feel, the more likelihood you will find me grinning at the smallest thing- That's how I perk myself up.
There are just too many things and ones to be concerned about.
I shouldn't centralise on myself.
Going to spend lots of time in His presence.
Good night world :)

MIA

2010-01-31T13:41:00.003+08:00

Will be missing in action from FB and Twitter for a while.
Check on my blog for news updates :)

We made an agreement

2010-01-29T01:40:00.000+08:00

Yes it was drastic but absolutely necessary.
I'm no gaga but there's still papparazzi.
We just got to kill it to make us happy.

Sodom and Gomorrah

2010-01-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

Why did Lot's Son-in-law doubt when they were told that God will destroy the cities?
Isn't it obvious that evil were dwelling in the land that even angels were desired by men?
Isn't it expected that God will not tolerate such acts and sins?
To them, it had become so common that sins turned natural and comfortable to live with/in.
Sometimes, we could be caught in the same situation that we closed an eye to errors opposing to God's word.
Where truth when told, upsets our hearts as we justify "But , but" or "how could it be?".
The sons-in-law were Lot's family entitled to God's mercy.
They chose to forsake the good and held on to what they are so used to.
They lost it ultimately.
I pray, I will never be nonchalant, to mine or to others.
Love, but not compromise.

So, it is divine

2010-01-26T23:56:00.002+08:00

It wasn't by accident that I sat in the session that night.
I learnt alot just by listening and hearing while Pastor talked.
RELATIONSHIPS. TRUTH. ADVICE. CHOICE.
Evaluate what went wrong the previous one before you move on to the next. Otherwise, expect the same result regardless who the man or who the woman is.
It came back to me during worship earlier.
God's kind. My choice. His advice. The truth.
WE. US. OUR relationship supercedes any others.

Toothfairy

2010-01-25T23:17:00.001+08:00

Anything you enjoy doing is never a waste of time.
Hmm. I caught something from the movie :)

Children...

2010-01-24T15:22:00.000+08:00

Are treasures from heaven. I know.
But as everyone who knows me is aware, I am totally clueless when it comes to handling them.
I would rather be caught dead on the sofa than to be left alone with a child.
I have no idea how to carry a baby, an infant, a toddler, a kiddo...and I have phobia if asked to do so.
I am just, not a kid's person.
I used to want 2, then 1 and now, none.
I simply can't imagine them tearing my world apart or turning it topsy turvy.
Haha, to think I am the same person who goes around encouraging couples to have kids.
I'm sure plans will change after I am married but again, when will that be?
Anyway, I am not in a hurry already :)

No, no special occasion

2010-01-22T20:07:00.001+08:00

I like to hear that when I ask why.
A gift received
A free meal
A bouquet of flowers delivered

Concerned

2010-01-21T23:02:00.002+08:00

Ok, I'm worried.
But I serve a God whose dictionary has no such vocabs.
And I choose to think of what He can do than what the world might do.
Amen and amen.

And I wonder why

2010-01-19T23:58:00.004+08:00

I looked really good that season and I wonder why. Haha.

Speaking into reality

2010-01-19T00:21:00.002+08:00

Visualizing.
Spent some time seeing and confessing.
And the longest, on the most unexpected.
Even I, was taken by surprise.

越线

2010-01-17T02:55:00.003+08:00

似乎越了线。
超过该说的、做的。
因为这样，心情糟透了。
尽力，也变不足够。
犯的错，让心很痛。
该回到原来的方位了：）

如果我变成回忆

2010-01-15T16:45:00.002+08:00

We should continue living while alive (sounds repetitive but it isn't)
That's the best gift to those who care
And to those who don't, they shouldn't bother you at all.
Anyway, no "if"s :)
--------------------------------------------
累了照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中不听话的
就停止了

听着呼吸像浪潮拍动着
越美丽越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏都难掌握

如果我变成回忆
退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心

如果我变成回忆
终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你
我不怪你

快乐什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的
最舍不得

如果我变成回忆
最怕我太不争气
顽固地赖在空气
霸占你心里每一寸缝隙
连累依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
这样不公平请你尽力
把我忘记

范玮琪 - 没那么爱他

2010-01-11T13:08:00.004+08:00

你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
但有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框

我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下

是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很空广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方

其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

"In a relationship with..."

2010-01-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

This is what has been popping up in my fb every other week.
And, I feel so happy for them!
Obviously we aren't close friends, otherwise, I would have to bang my head onto the wall for being informed via this mode.
But, this is happy news still!

Thanks for making the trip possible :)

2010-01-07T13:03:00.003+08:00

(1) Steven for driving me to the airport at 730am. Amazing, cos we slept quite late the night before.
(2) E47,for the ang pow. Speechless!
(3) Kunyan, for taking care of the cg
(4) Junrong, for helping me with the admin straight after she returned from her own trip
(5) Peiling, for her nonsense and her first aid box :p
(6) Caiyan, for loaning some of her winter wear and the heat packs
(7) The girls in cg. Texting me early in the morning and wishing me well
(8) Karen, for standing in and handling the boards' and ministries' weird requests
(9) Irwan and Shirley for recommending the "must-go" places and "must-eat"food in Shanghai
(10)Raymond, for volunteering to link me with his colleague should I lose my way in the foreign land
(11)Besties, for missing me when I was away. Haha~
(12)Ling's international spies, for the free meals and rides
(13)My sister. Caring for my safety albeit I am already 30 *wink*
(14)The helpful staff in Rendezvous, Cathay Pac and dragonair
(15)Ken, for driving me back
-------------------------------------------------------------
Sidetrack: Interesting things
(1) Being constantly mistaken to be a Jap during the trip (which happened when I was in Perth too). I credit it to the fashion sense inherited from Vivi
(2) Bumped onto countless times as if it is a norm- reminds me of Korea!
(3) Stopped at China customs twice when I flew in and flew out. Do I look that complicated?
(4) "Gucci, Coach, LV, Chanel" talks in Nanjing Road
(5) Instantly promoted to be a "babe" as that's how all ladies were addressed
(6) Rolex and Longines in rundown boutiques. Mind you, they are not counterfeits
(7) Ajisen and Yoshinoya at half the price and twice as yumnmy
(8) Went to Hangzhou without venturing to west lake. What?!
(9) Spent RMB40 in a tunnel watching some lights. Err, I don't really know how to appreciate that.
(10) Took more cabs than mrt. It's just too cold to walk to the station.

Hello Kitty

2009-12-29T19:52:00.003+08:00

I am not a fan, really.
But I do admire the cat for not having to speak (HK has no mouth, btw).
The class laughed when I gave the answer.
Yet I know, I do appreciate silence.
Given the role I play at work and ministry, I have to communicate.
That's the reason why watching movie alone, shopping alone and eating alone top my favorite to-do list during playtime.
And maybe that's why when I was in the sky,I stared blankly at the lightings not (or seldom) exchanging a word.
I am enjoying MY moment :)